date: Saturday, December 11, 2004 @ 11:52 pm
title: Day 21: Why does the World Condemn a Vagrant? I'm a Dreamer... (Part II)
Is "confused" strong enough to express my feelings now? Maybe should check the Thesaurus. Let me see… there are ‘puzzle’, ‘perplex’, ‘baffle’, ‘mystify’, ‘bewilder’, and ‘confound’. Don’t know lar..
For the past few weeks, I have been keeping a close chase after the news of the China Aviation Oil big financial scandal. 9 billion bucks down the drain (according to my Dad’s ‘reliable’ information), after a terrible miscalculation in the price of one barrel of untreated oil. He lost 9 billion bucks in the oil stakes. The eventual consequence is that his company might face bankruptcy and he who is the CEO will surely sentence behind the bars for at least 8 years.
Just went to watch the news about his scandal, currently no comments yet to begin with.
Well… you can say that I’m softhearted or just wasn’t the material for complex business world out there. I felt that he’s quite poor thing. He’s now… I would say a white collar vagrant. I don’t know whether is it that he’s acting or otherwise, but I reckon that many companies were also in debt becos of his err. I’m neither the victim nor the associate to the company.
Now, I’m going to watch the special report on the CAO scandal.
I have a poor judgment on people. Haxi… Now I finally understood why CAO owns big bucks, cos what they did was illegal exchange and all were done unnoticing to the mother company as well as the company associates. However, I believe that the suspended CEO will rise again after serving the sentence he deserves. I sense that his son will be a chip of the block. I really hope that their passionate for business will be the heart of mine for God. To fulfill the Great Commandant and Commission, I will need the passion for God with obedience in my walk of faith.
This afternoon, I had an inspiring sharing by Sister Yvonne about the direction of the Church, Pastor David had told us last week. It’s been a week since he touched the very depth of our hearts, but I have not been mediating about his sermon. Guilty is what I would describe my feelings now. Sorry can’t change anything, but I still have time to repent…
The dream I had during dawn, really shocked me. Its like warfare in the spiritual realm is not just prayer and others, but it also involves action. Like warfare, soldiers are needed to be on the frontline to support the artillery and battle tanks. We need to conquer a beach head, in order to deploy the supporting units into the heart of the enemy.
During the WII, the allies wanted to Nazis to fall and made the toughest decision. To capture the beachhead before advancing into the heart of the Nazi, many life were at stakes. There is such description of the situation at the beachhead: ‘the sea was red around the beachhead.’
I would say that my beachhead is not secure yet, cos I’m still pondering whether the decision I made was correct. An indecisive commander is the vertical point between defeats or conquers. I was a ‘sissy’ commander, so I sent a few soldier to the beachhead to see what the situation is over there. Garrison of veterans Verse a few soldier, of course, wiped off instantly before setting foot on the coral. That’s what I’m in.
However, unknowingly… The Holy Spirit spoke to me,
“Go and eat Roti Prata now, downstairs.”
“Err… ok?”
But I changed my mind when I saw the price list. Almost everything was about one buck or more, I was discouraged by the price and was confused as well, I was contemplating why the Holy Spirit said that.
As soon as I was about the board the MRT train back home, Jasmine called me.
“Zhi Han, are you eating at the Prata shop?”
“No.. I decided not to eat.”
“Oh den… nevermind lor. Cya tomorrow?”
“Yar.”
After pondering for a while, ‘Go and eat Roti Prata now, downstairs.’
“Hello? Jasmine, where are you now?”
“ Er.. still in church lor.”
“ Still eating?”
“Yar.”
“I decided to eat now.”
“Okie, see you at the Prata shop.”
Something just happened inside me. A flush of faith came into me. It’s like first love experience. Expecting only Jasmine to be dinning with, Joanna and Celeste were joining as well… What should I say ? Thank God. Amen?
After that, the Holy Spirit spoke,
“Spend some time on fellowship. Reap what you sow and sow what you reap.”
And the roti prata high tea was fruitful, very fruitful. I knew more about everyone on the round table and we had the VIP table as well… at the back alley.
You see the benefit when you don’t rationalize what God is doing. Everything will be perfect. I did rationalize, but I was given a second chance to reflect on my actions when Jasmine called me. Otherwise, I will be on board MRT train, contemplating and regretting what might happen if I do likewise.
The lesson I learnt as well, during sharing was that,
Righteousness = having faith
Holy = complete obedience
I was tested immediately, soon after cell. So always be prepared, when tests and trials come your way, you will overcome them with full obedience.
Frankly speaking, I didn’t know I was being tested then, until now as I’m blogging.
God works in a mysterious ways. Your thoughts can’t par with His, unless He shows you and explains His Almighty plan, otherwise it’s nothing to your understanding.
Gosh… This is the long blog submission. But I still have lots of say.
Nevermind.. I have to retire now; otherwise I will be fetching a taxi to church again or get fine 10 bucks eventually.
